Say My Name
by Taylor Hayes
Summary: In which Steve finally finds his Hydra-brainwashed, super assassin, amnesiac best friend when Bucky… auditions for The Voice? Crack. So much crack. Set after CA: Winter Soldier, but spoiler free.


**Say My Name**

Steve had just stopped into the Tower for a night to resupply, get a full night's sleep in a bed that didn't smell like the last 20 occupants or bleach. The latest lead had him running back to Manhattan, after a picture had been snapped and posted on something called "Instagram" with the tag ' _Ripped Hobo_ '.

That night, he couldn't get his brain to shut off. It ran in circles, like it had been for two months. When he wandered out to the common area, he discovered he wasn't alone. Tony and Natasha were already on the couch, each with a glass of their alcoholic beverage of choice in hand. They were watching some kind of singing program, and Steve almost turned around and left.

(Clint had used the internet to show him a few clips of auditions for a show called "American Idol", and the way some of the contestants were treated made him want to break things. It didn't matter how lacking in talent the individual might be, the things people said were cruel.)

Natasha apparently remembered his rant on the subject, because she caught his eye and waved him over. "This one's classier, I promise," she reassured him. "They show the ones where people get picked, no humiliation. And this episode is Blind Auditions."

Choosing to trust his teammate, Steve moved closer, still hesitant. It was Tony, pausing the show to turn around and snort, "Holy shit, you're like a skittish cat over there." that made him square his shoulders and take a seat.

"What are Blind Auditions?" he asked, turning to Natasha.

Tony answered instead. "The judges all have their backs turned while the singer performs. That way it's just the _voice_ -" He nudged Natasha, who slapped his arm and rolled her eyes. "-they're paying attention to, instead of looks or outfit."

"Oh." He narrowed his eyes at the frozen picture, and found it confirmed Tony's explanation, with four people in large chairs facing away from the stage and towards the audience.

Nat raised a brow in question, and Steve nodded. "Yeah, okay."

At that, Tony let out a gusty sigh. "Well, now that we have your permission, Star Spangled Ass…"

He got hit again by Natasha before announcing, "Restart, JARVIS."

"Certainly, sir."

Apparently they'd only watched one audition for the episode, and two more came and went (with the references to music and the judges going over Steve's head, but the singers sounded nice, and the four people in the chairs clearly thought so, too) before someone walked out on stage. The lights came up as they began to sing, and all three jaws dropped.

"Боже мой."

" _Bucky?_ "

Slicked back hair, cut and styled like he was stepping out with some dame, black jacket over a white shirt, eyes closed as he sang into the handheld microphone, one hand covered by a leather glove. And it became clear quickly that he was _good_.

"I think I'm hallucinating," Tony muttered.

"You're not," Steve mumbled, just as confused, just as shocked.

Natasha was already on the phone and dialing someone, speaking in rapid-fire Hebrew.

Stunned, the billionaire turned to Steve, almost joking when he said, "So your crazy, murderous best friend who we've spent countless hours searching for, the same one that gave our assassin duo the slip, just revealed himself on national tv while singing Destiny's Child?"

With a snap, Natasha ended the call. "Neither of us is that drunk," she declared, then glanced back at the screen. "Now, let's go get him back."

Steve took another moment to take in the sound of his friend's voice, singing something about saying his name, and he nodded. "Yeah."

…

…

…

 _Author's note: I was on youtube, watching a few Blind Auditions, and this smooth looking guy comes on and my first thought was, "Holy shit,_ Bucky? _" And I had to start typing._

 _This piece of crack was brought to you by Season 8 Episode 3 of The Voice, contestant Travis Ewing, Destiny's Child, and the letters/phrase "WTactualF, Taylor?"_


End file.
